REVIEW / Closing Boss Bitter

I’ve had my justifiable share of disappointments in the case of “social procuring,” swept up by a viral advertising wave on social media solely to be dashed upon the rocks of actuality by a neck cream that turned out to be an inexpensive knockoff, a sling service that scared the literal sh*t out of my aged Yorkie, and a chili crisp that leaked in transit and turned the mailman into my nemesis (and rightfully so). However for each miss there’s a hit. Closing Boss Bitter, the tremendous bitter sweet constituted of actual dried fruit that’s been blowing up my feeds, is that hit.

Earlier than they got down to reinvent the bitter snacking expertise, the model’s co-founders James Hicks and Tommy Riggs labored at Science Inc., a enterprise studio that helped incubate manufacturers like Liquid Dying and Greenback Shave Membership, so it’s no shock that humor and retro gaming-inspired nostalgia are the pillars of their content material. However Closing Boss Bitter actually commits to the bit with a full narrative. A grumpy honey badger named Hank stumbled upon a jar of expired pickles that was truly an historical relic trapping the dormant essence of an evil sorcerer. After by chance Pandora’s Field-ing the Closing Boss Bitter free to unfold his sourness upon the land as soon as extra, Hank should workforce up with a sugary-sweet quokka title Quinnie to gather the bitter fruits wanted to construct their bitter stamina and liberate Gooberland. And that’s simply the essential story. All of the mini-bosses get their very own backstories and motivations for throwing in with the massive unhealthy, and their e mail e-newsletter, The Gooberland Gazette, expands the Bitter-verse even additional. This isn’t only a candified fruit snack. It’s a candified fruit snack with lore.  

The online game vibes lengthen past the fabulous branding, packaging and advertising. There’s sadly no 16-bit console online game tie-in, however there’s a sport to be performed, it’s simply extra Noticed than Sonic. I may eat Degree 1’s all day, every single day; deliciously concentrated fruit taste with sourness only a skosh shy of an excessive amount of. However these folks downing handfuls of Degree 2’s and three’s with out making a face? Straight-up sociopaths. For those who’re internet hosting an evening of board video games or heavy consuming (or higher but, each), I like to recommend beginning your night with the VIP Destroyer Final Bitter Sampler Field (the marginally smaller and cheaper VIP Bitter Sampler Field additionally will get the job carried out, however you’ll have to select it up on their TikTok store), which helps you to attempt all three of their flagship fruit choices – cranberries, blueberries and strawberries – in three more and more intense ranges of sourness. You and your family and friends unwitting victims can play all 9 ranges at residence, forming a trauma bond that may stay lengthy after the mouth-puckering, tooth-disintegrating sting of those bitter candies has light.

With no synthetic components, sweeteners, or preservatives, Closing Boss Bitter is a good alternative for the health-conscious snacker, however make no mistake – that is sweet. With 20-22 grams of sugar per pouch, it has much less sugar than the identical serving dimension of Bitter Patch Children (24g) however greater than Bitter Strips (16g), Warheads (15g) or Trolli Bitter Brite Crawlers (10g). However these different candies even have a protracted record of chemical substances on their diet labels. Closing Boss Bitter has solely 5 components: actual dried fruit, cane sugar, sunflower oil, citric acid, and malic acid. And let me say, you possibly can actually style the acid. It’s best to positively conduct your individual style check to search out how bitter is just too bitter for you. In confectionery, placing a steadiness between candy and bitter creates a harmonious style expertise, and in my humble opinion, Degree 1 Bitter Strawberries are a symphony of flavors that will make angels weep.

Don’t even get me began on their restricted particular drops. They despatched me a field of Strawberry Kiwi Degree 2 that had me saying “Degree 1 Strawberries? I don’t know her,” at the very least till I spotted the drop was already bought out. Seems that’s fairly normal for these extremely anticipated and extremely addictive releases, which have included Bitter Strawberry Mango Degree 2, Blue Raspberry Mango Dippers Degree 3, and Chocolate Coated Bitter Cherries. It’s additionally the one approach to have gotten your arms on their sourest choices, with Bitter Yuzu Pineapple Degree 4, Bitter Cherry Lemon Lime Degree 4, and a collab with Friday Beers that had a Blueberry, Cherry, Cranberry, Lemon Lime Degree 4 taste that made me style colours. As of publication, you possibly can nonetheless get their newest month-to-month drop, Bitter Grapes Degree 4, however in case you have a worry of lacking out on future drops, they’ve simply launched a Month-to-month Drop Membership.

For those who’re a nostalgic gamer, wholesome snacker, or closet masochist, you’ll like Closing Boss Bitter. Get your first field free ($20 worth) with buy when your order DFB (Direct from Boss). Simply don’t say I didn’t warn you. That’s how they get you. The primary style is at all times free.

In full disclosure, this overview relies on retail product offered by Closing Boss Bitter. However in additional full disclosure, I’ve since made three separate purchases. Positively not serving to dispel the crack comparability…